Hi! My name is Abi and I would like to welcome you to The Thursday Group blog!

If you are looking for support and information about healing from sexual abuse, you have come to a good place. You might have come to this blog because someone you know has been sexually abused or you might be here because you’ve been sexually abused yourself. Either way, you could still have some uncomfortable, difficult, or scary feelings about what happened. It is wonderful that you are looking for more information and support. If you are like me, just thinking about the topic of sexual abuse can be stressful.You may want to take a few minutes right now and notice your breathing. If you are holding your breath, or taking quick shallow breaths, see if you can take a deep breath into your belly, letting your stomach go out as you breath in. When you breath out, just let the air flow out slowly and easily. Take another slow easy breath into your belly, and then let the air flow out slowly. If you want to, slowly take three or four more breaths, making your stomach expand like a balloon each time you breath in, and relax each time you breath out. Inside yourself, just say hello gently to your body and any feelings you are noticing. Look at some of the things that are around you wherever you are. Breathing, and noticing things around you like this, is something I learned about when I was in a support group with four other middle school girls in my town who had been sexually abused. I wrote The Thursday group to hopefully make things easier for others. This blog tells about the book (including messages from the other characters and sample chapters to read or listen to), and where you can order it. You will also find links to other good books and web sites. If you start to notice that your breathing becomes uneven or really fast, or your heart feels like it is pounding in your chest or you get dizzy or feel unreal; please, get up from the computer or iphone, look at the things that are around you, and go find or call that trusted adult. If you don’t have an adult in your life that you can talk to, please call a hotline number.

I am a fictional character, but I was created out of the very real feelings and experiences of the girls PeggyEllen and Kimber used to be, and the girls they have known.

We hope that this blog and book will help you heal.

Abi

Need to talk to someone or report abuse? Call: 1-800-4ACHILD or 1-800-422-4458

The person who answers your call can help you figure out what to do and how to get help. If you call from a land line instead of a cell phone, the call will be free and will not show on a phone bill.

Monday, June 16, 2014

"I locked my door. It was weird. When I was around my mother I couldn’t help hating her and blaming her for my father leaving. When I was by myself or with Tara and her mom I blamed myself and my stupid guardian angel, though I wondered if I even had one. When I was with Jean I blamed her and the hotline counselor. When my dad was leaving I felt like it was all his fault. I was mad at everyone." From The Thursday Group; A Story and Information for Girls Healing From Sexual Abuse, page 148


Anger and Your Body

When you are angry, your whole body goes into “fight, flight or freeze” mode. Your brain might kick into fighting mode, which means you will fight with words or actions. It might force you to run away or to get out of the situation in any way that you can. Or, it might ‘freeze’ and leave you unable to get out of the situation or to say or do anything to help yourself. This is the same brain and body system that is activated when a person is abused. That means that, for some people, when they are angry, their body and brain are triggered to remember the abuse, or, when they think about the abuse, their body and brain are triggered into becoming automatically angry. One way to tell whether your angry reaction is about what is going on now or is an automatic reaction based on your abuse experience is proportion. Ask yourself, “Is what’s going on now worth this big a reaction? Is there something about what is happening now that reminds me of the abuse?” From The Thursday GroupA Story and Information for Girls Healing From Sexual Abuse, page 150

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