Hi! My name is Abi and I would like to welcome you to The Thursday Group blog!

If you are looking for support and information about healing from sexual abuse, you have come to a good place. You might have come to this blog because someone you know has been sexually abused or you might be here because you’ve been sexually abused yourself. Either way, you could still have some uncomfortable, difficult, or scary feelings about what happened. It is wonderful that you are looking for more information and support. If you are like me, just thinking about the topic of sexual abuse can be stressful.You may want to take a few minutes right now and notice your breathing. If you are holding your breath, or taking quick shallow breaths, see if you can take a deep breath into your belly, letting your stomach go out as you breath in. When you breath out, just let the air flow out slowly and easily. Take another slow easy breath into your belly, and then let the air flow out slowly. If you want to, slowly take three or four more breaths, making your stomach expand like a balloon each time you breath in, and relax each time you breath out. Inside yourself, just say hello gently to your body and any feelings you are noticing. Look at some of the things that are around you wherever you are. Breathing, and noticing things around you like this, is something I learned about when I was in a support group with four other middle school girls in my town who had been sexually abused. I wrote The Thursday group to hopefully make things easier for others. This blog tells about the book (including messages from the other characters and sample chapters to read or listen to), and where you can order it. You will also find links to other good books and web sites. If you start to notice that your breathing becomes uneven or really fast, or your heart feels like it is pounding in your chest or you get dizzy or feel unreal; please, get up from the computer or iphone, look at the things that are around you, and go find or call that trusted adult. If you don’t have an adult in your life that you can talk to, please call a hotline number.

I am a fictional character, but I was created out of the very real feelings and experiences of the girls PeggyEllen and Kimber used to be, and the girls they have known.

We hope that this blog and book will help you heal.

Abi

Need to talk to someone or report abuse? Call: 1-800-4ACHILD or 1-800-422-4458

The person who answers your call can help you figure out what to do and how to get help. If you call from a land line instead of a cell phone, the call will be free and will not show on a phone bill.

Friday, September 10, 2010

How Will I Know When I’ve Healed?

:Remember, healing doesn't happen all at once, like flipping a light switch. Gradually you will start noticing that more and more of the items on this list are true for you, more often than not. As you grow older, changes in your life may stir up the old memories from the abuse, but, because you have healed in so many ways, it will be easier for you to deal with old feelings, and to find support when you need it.
  • You will be able to think and talk about the abuse
  • You will be able to think and talk about things other than the abuse
  • You will sleep pretty normally
  • You’ll be able to concentrate in school
  • You’ll feel comfortable being assertive, or standing up for yourself
  • You’ll feel comfortable leaving your house
  • You will experience joy
  • You will be able to tolerate someone touching your shoulder or shaking your hand
  • You will be able to bathe normally, without experiencing shame or thinking that you are “dirty”
  • You will be interested in your future
  • You will start conversations with others
  • You will be able to handle someone criticizing you without feeling shame
  • You will be able to tell the difference between supportive and non-supportive relationships
  • You will choose supportive relationships
  • You will be able to tolerate strong emotions in others and in yourself
  • You will have a positive body image
  • You will be able to relax without using drugs or alcohol
  • You will look for fun things to do by yourself and with others
  • You will care about and show concern for other people
  • You will be able to remember recent and past events
  • You will be able to express your anger in a healthy way
  • You will feel confident that you have value
  • You will laugh
  • You will trust yourself
  • You will have a healthy appetite and you will eat when you are hungry
  • You will take care of yourself physically and emotionally
  • You will be able to feel sad about things that are sad and it will have nothing to do with the abuse
  • You will have a sense of your own personal space
  • You will feel good about yourself
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